please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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