New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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