Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
