you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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