look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
