I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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