I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
