ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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