Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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