its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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