Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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