Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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