i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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