i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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