Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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