He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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