My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
