You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Bring me that man meat
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
