i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize