if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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