So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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