So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
