My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
