He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
