she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Randomize