Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
