Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
MIDGETS
????
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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