What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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