it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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