The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
