Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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