How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
