If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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