let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
