Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
