i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
