Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Sponge bath it is.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i think i just lost a toe
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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