How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
