He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
