Don't you send me to vm
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize