# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just gargled with NyQuil
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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