Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize