I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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