He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize