Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
