Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She said her name was "party"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize