all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
