addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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