she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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