i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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