I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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