Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
did you just send me my own nude
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
