We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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