Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I wear drunk well.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
