Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
