Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
