I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
