just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
