the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
