It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
