Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
