think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
