is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
