I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
