She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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